Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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