On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize