I am in a vortex of obligation.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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