i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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