i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
