I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
