He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize