As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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