YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize