It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
