Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
