well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
