Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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