I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
