I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize