Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They took my balls.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize