dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
