The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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