Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
