I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize