How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
