dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
