would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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