Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize