Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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