Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
