I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
