Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
