Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
