The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
