you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
