Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
