whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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