We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
