I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
