i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
