you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
