there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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