guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Randomize
