i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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