I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize