So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
