peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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