the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
