I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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