In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
