Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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