So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
