Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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