if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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