Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
