There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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