about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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