im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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