she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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