no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
