You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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