I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She said her name was "party"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize