The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize