I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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