you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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