thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it hurts more in the daytime
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize