the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
