we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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