So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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