when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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