im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize