dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
