After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
