Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
