therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
